Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Little Book of Days

Me goofing around with her format. Hope you enjoy:

AT THE CONCERT. Strobe lights brighten and fade faster than you can. I stare at them. A bright flash on someone's camera that isn't in sync with the strobes. My mind is wiped. I stumble backwards. You grab my waist right when I clutch for your shoulder, but you don't really want to touch me. Black. White. Black. Black. Black.

OUTSIDE. Perched on the bench like an unlit pyre. Eyes focus on the hundreds of legs walking all at the same pace. But never next to each other. A man walks up and hands me a ticket to "the opportunity America is talking about." Overwhelmed by under-stimulation, I shove my pen in my mouth. It's plastic and bland like your face when you walked away and left me here.

4 comments:

  1. I wish someone would give me a ticket to the opportunity America is talking about. I feel like I know people that are constantly overwhelmed by under-stimulation. That's a good way of putting it.

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  2. this is great, you really captured the feeling of the book, in a funny way. The end of the first entry, I really like the Black. White. Black. Black. Black.

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  3. I feel like you did a very good job in recreating the feel of the book. The concert piece was true to life and very enjoyable. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed in such a situation and even feeling a bit lost. The second part of the piece offers a great moment of antithesis, with the line "overwhelmed by under-stimulation". Nice use of literary devices :)

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  4. Could imagine everything you said. Strong imagery used. See that you captured the moment very much like the fashion of the book. Also liked the "overwhelmed by under-stimulation" part.

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