Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Response to The Language

The Ladies

I draw mine
like the red
watery lips

of painted
Ladies. I
dream of my

shoes saying
click, click
good morning

moonlight. And I
will smile as
they do, raising

my pluming
cigarette to those
red, watery lips.


  1. Well done on replicating the stilted line use. You cut it up in a way that allows each groupings of words to get their own considerations, though you also introduce a factor of repetition that adds poetry to it.

  2. You were successful in imitating the fragmented and choppy structure. The imagery was vivid and eye catching. I really liked this piece because it felt very true to life, especially with the image of bringing a "cigarette to those/ red, watery lips."


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