My version of Nona Caspers' "Little Book of Days"
IN MY BEDROOM: My roommate decides it’s necessary to shout, when discussing her breast reduction surgery, while on the phone. I type at a much slower speed when shouting is near, I also type at a slower speed when my arthritis flares up. She’s done. The clock starts shouting. He starts shouting faster. I get anxious. And just sit while flip-flopping my feet.
BEHIND THE REGISTER: I’m eating it. Oh, okay. This is expensive. I know, but it’s organic? Do you have a bathroom? Sigh. Yeah, we share it with Jamba Juice it’s right around the corner but you need the key which is attached to the silver bucket which is next to the white tin that says “Bread”. I hate you. You don’t listen.
I enjoyed this piece for two reasons. First off it sounds very authentic and as if the stuff in this is actually happening to you (or the narrator). And second, I like that it's a sort of contrast to little book of days. It is written the same way but in this the character is interacting with other people which doesn't really happen in little book of days very often. Well done
ReplyDeleteThe first line really brought me into your piece. People on the phone shouting, there's a communal feeling there that makes it easy for me to be sitting in your chair being annoyed as well.
ReplyDeleteI think this piece is really affective because it is so simple and true to life. I know what it's like to live with roommates and feel as though your personal space is always shattered by awkward phone conversations. It really gets into the characters head. The second part of the piece works well with the concept of "stream on consciousness". I can completely relate to that train of thought.
ReplyDeleteThe second paragraph of this piece really stood out to me because its like the reader is experiencing exactly what you are thinking.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDelete