Wednesday, March 3, 2010

"Ode To Sleep" response

I enjoyed reading "every enterance is an exit" and "ode to sleep" by Anne Carson because I myself am a huge fan of sleeping, and here is my Ode To Sleep



Its never a place I desire to descend upon.
A day's discontent never seems to give up hope that it will turn itself around- but as for now
there must be a time for silence eventually.
How is it that
There are sections of time where millions of bodies lay
like motionless corpses entertained only by the subconscious mind?
catching dreams in a net of hair-
I like the why she wraps herself around memories.
She sends a whisper of relief
inaudible, but recognizable
Like the silence between a heartbeat, an experience skipped
When is the instant when the sky begins to brighten?

5 comments:

  1. you have great lovely lines in this, I think my favorite is "I like the way she wraps herself around memories".

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  3. This is beautiful. My favorite line is "like the silence between a heartbeat". Same general subject matter and very similar structure to Carson's, at the same time completely different and refreshing.

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  4. this is awesome, i really like it. "I like the way she wraps herself around memories" is a really powerful and poignant line. I like the presence of the narrator sneaking in like that.

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  5. This is a great reworking of the Ode to Sleep piece. You have some fantastic lines in here like "There are sections of time where millions of bodies lay/ like motionless corpses entertained only by the subconscious mind?" You have a consistent tone and create a sense of mystery and mystique are your subject. Good job.

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