Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Colonel Imitation

Hey all. So, here is my attempt at copying the style of "The Colonel". I believe I failed, but hey, I guess that's creative writing for ya.

Wonderland's Waiting Room

What you have heard: it is false. I may have slipped, but I never hit my head. I fell too long. The ground welcomed me after crashing through the ceiling. I sat up. There was blood pouring from my knee in a crimson torrent of passion. Around me, a bizarre d├ęcor. There were doors surrounding me of nightmares and dreams. Clocks had wedged themselves into the dirt. They go counter-clockwise, until time is irrelevant. It is just a passing fancy. The glass table is round with ornate legs. It looks as if an author had penned them from cursive. The bottle was meant to be consumed, so I did. Upon shrinking, the checkerboard ceiling appeared a gigantic game with debris acting as the pieces. I found the right nightmare, acquired the correct key, and I opened the door. Stepping through the threshold, I found a ground that existed in my mind. Its pebbles were memories. Its stones were dreams. The brilliance of the sun reflecting off the giant face-flowers blinded me. I felt myself on the brink of war: did I hit my head? Can this be reality? A pinch did nothing to stir the world from being. Compared to the dim reaches of the waiting room, the air around me sang. The air always sings in Wonderland.


  1. Could imagine Wonderland being one surreal waiting room. Loved the last line of the air always singing in Wonderland. Good use of description.

  2. Your recreation has a strong feel of the original. "They go counter-clockwise until time is irrelevant" this line is an incredible way to describe the tone of the story. Each passage has many feelings of disaster and mystery.

  3. i really liked this posting, i loved the line "Clocks had wedged themselves into the dirt. They go counter-clockwise, until time is irrelevant. It is just a passing fancy." it reminded me of what a concussion feels like, that disorientation and feeling that my knee is attached to my lip and then details seem to perk their head out from the flat plane of reality like the table you describe, i had a similar experience in middle school after a run in with a baseball bat, all of my memories from the hospital were in the third person from a high over the shoulder view for years (for many years i had a minimal recollection of the event) and to this day i don't remember seeing any faces, just hands. anyway, sorry to rant in your comments.

  4. Love the idea of Wonderland's Waiting Room. You did a really good job bringing scene description in for a vivid picture. "It looks as if an author has penned them from cursive." beautiful.


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