This is a creative response to "Ode to Sleep"
Ode to Feet
Stink of your life, without them
Ode to Feet
Stink of your life, without them
Without the patter punctuating the pavement—without the pavement.
Without the big black toe nail above the boil that popped on your
yellow sandals.
The pain snakes up your legs, your arms
and forms unspeakable sounds
which—you weep with instant abandon—will save you
in the crux of excruciating things,
later. Later,
not much left but an attended wound between pink flesh and nail—
you’ve dabbed that ointment on your leather petals,
it’s the moment when the burning stopped.
Burning is a broken lover
who brings damnation.
“After all that,” she confides in her coffee, “it was
a little bit of caught sand I mistook for a boil.
My foot hurt me, I now know
while making a pearl inside my big toe.
Nice "Ode to Feet," all the problems one can have with feet. Especially liked "it was a little bit of caught sand I mistook for a boil."
ReplyDeleteclever take on "ode to sleep". The repetition of the "P" sound in the second line is really effective, almost like your poem is walking.
ReplyDeletevery creative response. They truly are the stink of my life. I like the structure of the words and I like the last line "while making a pearl inside my big toe."
ReplyDeletehah, i love the first line. creative take on Ode to Sleep. I like the way you did your line breaks, they bring more momentum to the piece. I also really liked the P consonance in line 2.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is absolutely awesome. I really liked the line "Burning is a broken lover
ReplyDeletewho brings damnation".
This is very clever. You worked with the original format but brought your own voice and sense of humor to the piece. I loved your creative spin on the original ode. Good job.
ReplyDelete