The reading which grabbed me the most was The Rain by Robert Creeley. I liked the duel moments between love and depression (the rain). Below is my attempt at the same contrast between elements. Altering the content a bit.
Sunshine
Exposing is the yellow
simulation, blinking the
world to life. A reason for
escape, adventure.
Please, do not endanger
this pleasant moment. My love
is given, not to you, not to your
unique Aptitude.
Slipping my darkened lenses.
Blocking the ugliness of your
way of life. Bearing the blunt,
inescapable grasp of you.
Moments of emptiness are not
found. The grand illumination
sparks the will, the alert mind.
Always.
Please leap away from this exceptional
day. Take with you your pain, disease,
aching need for self attention. I exist
without these qualities.
Jason Yelland
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Could definitely see the dual moments of love and depression. Especially liked "Take with you your pain, disease, aching need for self attention. I exist without these qualities." very powerful line.
ReplyDeleteI love that you described the sun as something that "grasps" us because it is so true. It is evident that although it makes you think of adventure and fun, it also bestowes a heavy burden. Referring it to an attention seeker was also clever. It's as if the sun has a personality and you secretly tapped into it.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased to see that people are doing their own take on this Creeley poem. The last stanza is what really grabbed me, although I'm not exactly positive why, it just resonated with me.
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